When Life Gives You Lemons – 10 Ways to Curb Negativity

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (Quran 2: 155)

Some of the most common situations amongst human beings are the trials and tests that they must go through in life but what makes one person different from another is how they react and respond to their specific problems.

It is inevitable that one who is encountering a difficult or tragic situation must struggle hard to curb the persistent negativity sprouting up from within and around him but what exactly is negativity? Negativity mostly starts with a stream of unpleasant thoughts and feelings that are left unresolved, which can lead to hostile behaviour, misplaced anger, frustration and anxiety, followed by erratic outbursts at anyone vulnerable such as, children, co-workers or friends which in turn results in feelings of regret, guilt or depression.

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Your True BFF

“I have been meaning to talk to you… I have a request,” she said suppressing her overwhelming emotions. “Can you talk to the girls about the importance of the ‘mother and daughter’ relationship?” Fighting back her tears, she struggled to speak. “You know…. we were very close…me and my daughter…. we were friends…best friends…. but now she has become indifferent towards me and doesn’t want to share anything…I don’t know why, I’ve tried everything…. I can’t seem to reach her.” Saying this she burst into tears.

This was one of many heart wrenching incidents that I have come across where parents feel a drastic tear between them and their children. The most evident, expressive and apparent relationship is between a mother and her daughter. This mostly starts off as a bond between the two but due to various reasons it weakens, breaks or in some cases is destroyed.

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A Wounded Heart

The sudden dreadful crying and screaming woke Zainab up. She lay on her bed, burying her face into the pillow, trying hard to block out the growing noise coming from the other room.

It had hardly been two hours since she had cried herself to sleep. Her tender heart started pounding against her chest at the thought of what would follow this pattern. It was the norm; after her father would come home, her mother would scream at him, he would yell back, and then it would get worse until she, being the eldest child, would intervene, crying and begging her parents to stop the awful fight, the reason for which those little children could never understand.

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A Clean Slate

Being raised in a society of ‘liberal’ and ‘moderate’ Muslims that believe in the freedom of expression, one is obliged to respect and tolerate matters that are against the teachings of Allah and His Messenger (salallahu alaihi wasallam). Those who dare to disagree are accused of being rigid, backward, fanatic, extremist, or narrow minded, depending on the category the individual best fits, according to their level of acceptance and their intensity of reaction.

An average Muslim’s goal in life has become finding happiness by submitting to his own nafs (the base self) and keeping it satisfied at any cost. This contagious disease of wanting to acquire dunia, is what we strive to pass on to our children too.

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This Ramadan Would Be a Different One!

After breaking the fast, while still on my prayer mat I was secretly hoping and praying that it wouldn’t be the last fast of Ramadan. Somehow I wasn’t that thrilled about Eid, this time. I was rather withdrawn and passive. Obviously, Eid was not the reason for my distress; instead it was the coming of the end of Ramadan.

Having understood the virtues and experienced the numerous blessings of Ramadan. I was feeling anxious for not having availed enough from the blessed month. “But there is always next Ramadan.” I reassured myself. “What makes you so sure that you will live that long?” A part of me contradicted. The growing debate between my conscience and nafs (lowly base self prone to sin) made me more apprehensive and anxious. The ticking of the clock made me desperate and I felt like grabbing every second of the passing moment.

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Finding Time For Dhikr For The ‘Mum on The Run’

Stress and depression have been proven to be the main reasons for the occurrence of many psychological problems.

We tend to ignore our psychological needs until they turn into life threatening ailments. If not addressed promptly and properly, a seemingly minor matter related to stress or depression can become traumatic for any individual.

So what can be the core reason for something so dangerous? Allah(subhanahu wa ta’ala) explains the reason to us by saying:

And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed life...” (20:124)

CAUSES.

Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has created us with a combination of body and soul, so in other words, we are a blend of the physiological and psychological and He has provided rizq (provision) for both.

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Love Is In The Air

It’s the time of year again, that lovebirds have been waiting for, the most awaited day of the year, February 14th!

Elaborately made up, beautifully adorned girls flutter around like bright butterflies hoping to find the most sought after guy, to be presented with gifts. A little heart or even a red rose would do, as long as it qualifies them to be paired up with someone.

On the other hand, guys dressed in their carefully chosen casual outfits, drenched in the most masculine cologne (a smell that could bruise your veins from within) seem busy shortlisting the most appropriate match for them, seeking to propose to the girl of their dreams. Finally, it is the day of enacting their well rehearsed scenarios with her.

Oh yes, it’s Valentine’s Day again!

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